I’m your mother and I call you into my bedroom to discuss your masturbation habits. I’ve found those dirty, crunchy tissues. I’m laying down relaxed in bed, and you’re surprised my attitude isn’t more strict. I confess that I understand what you’re going through. At my time of life too, hormones go crazy and I’m wet all the time. I go through pair after pair of panties in one day. I’ve seen your browser history, son, I know what kind of porn turns you on. You love older, curvy women–real women, not little girls. I shamelessly flaunt my cleavage and as I say these dirty words, you can’t help but get a boner for your own mother, and I encourage it.